John Andrist: Thoughts On Getting Big

Do you ever dream about big?

I was pondering an age-old question I have carried around for most of my life.

Why is big always better?

When you were a baby and got toilet trained, they  probably said you were a “big” boy or girl.

“My, you are getting so big!”,  they said as we grew.

We were always a little bit cockier when we could say we were from the big class or the big school.

No matter what size the city of your choice, when somebody asked about the population, I’ll bet anything if you estimated you fibbed on the high side.

[mks_pullquote align=”right” width=”300″ size=”24″ bg_color=”#ffffff” txt_color=”#000000″]I really don’t understand spending so much time and energy to get bigger. If they invested more of those resources in making the place better, methinks bigger would take care of itself.[/mks_pullquote]

A big wedding was a badge of honor. A big funeral had nothing to do with your church or shoe size. It meant a lot of people came.

A big crowd was always wanted. There had to be some excuse for a small crowd. Too many things going on. Something like that.

Neither big nor small speak to the quality of the program.

No wonder I had childhood inferiority. I was always the small guy (except did I ever tell you I was 10 pounds when I was born? I just never grew very much.)

When I played ball the only thing my coach could boast about me was the size of my appetite.

“Diminutive” was the word he used in the newspaper reports when he wanted to boast that I had scored a lot of points. He was a bit diminutive himself, and didn’t like to use the word small.

Even so, my exploits were not bigger than my size, and I learned early that it was the job of the small guy to get the ball to the big guys.

I spent my whole working life trying to help my community get a little bigger. But now that I’m in Fargo, the biggest city in our state, I’ve found it isn’t big enough to satisfy the major town boosters.

Good banks went through a merging mania a few years ago. If it had made them better they  wouldn’t have needed a bailout.

Matter of fact, how many companies do you know that really get better as they get bigger. I’ve discovered that when I want to talk to somebody that the bigger the company the bigger is my wait to talk to somebody. Same thing when you connect a government agency.

I drove to Best Buy this week with a problem. They should be named Big Buy, I decided, because they weren’t too interesting in helping somebody who wanted to buy a small thing.

I bought it anyway, but had to return it the next day. It didn’t work.

As a Fargoan, I really don’t understand spending so much time and energy to get bigger. If they invested more of those resources in making the place better, methinks bigger would take care of itself.

Alas, we creatures are the worst of all in our desire for things big. We want a big fortune, more than a small one. We dream of big cars and big boats. We aspire to have a big heart.

So I’m a lost small soul, a little guy in a world of big guys. But I do fit better in crowded theatres and airplanes. So there!

Trump is one of those big guys.

When Donald Trump first announced a plan to run for president I was intrigued. After all, he’s a big guy with a big persona and a big personal fortune.

But the more I listen to what he has to say the more he sounds like a big blowhard. The best news this week was when he told CNN he wouldn’t sit through a debate unless they paid him a “big” sum. Stupid?

Of course. I long for the day when the rest of my countrymen are able to tune him out.

The bottom line is he will never be elected president. The only question is how many far better candidates he may take down with him.

Hopefully Americans will discover the need to elect a real candidate who has credentials beyond the size of his “big” ego.

Rob Port is the editor of SayAnythingBlog.com, a columnist for the Forum News Service, and host of the Plain Talk Podcast which you can subscribe to by clicking here.

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