By Adam Tobias | Wisconsin Reporter
DON’T SHOOT: Six high school seniors in Wausau have been issued citations for disorderly conduct for playing with NERF guns near school grounds.
WAUSAU, Wis. — Police here cited six Wausau West High School seniors this week with disorderly conduct for battling it out with plastic NERF guns near school grounds.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The teenagers are in trouble for playing with toy firearms known for being so colorful they resemble neon peacocks sliding down rainbows while sporting tie-dye T-shirts.
Not satisfied with throwing the six young men into America’s horrendous legal system, school officials decided to place some of them on athletic probation.
This is hardly the first time school administrators have penalized students for absurd reasons. Here are six others:
1. It does hurt to ask
A senior from Central York High School in Pennsylvania must have been crushed when 2014 Miss America Nina Davuluri couldn’t accept his invitation to prom at a recent school assembly.
Kicking a man while he’s down, the teen was suspended for three days even though Davuluri came to his defense and asked school officials to reconsider.
2. Stop or my son will shoot… his breakfast pastry
Loaded with sugar and preservatives, Pop Tarts aren’t considered among the healthiest of breakfast meals. Make it a habit of eating too many of the tasty treats and you might have a problem.
As a lethal weapon, Pop Tarts are less effective.
Yet, that didn’t stop overzealous school officials in Maryland from suspending a 7-year-old boy who chewed his yummy Pop Tart into a pistol shape and waved it around.
3. You can’t wear that in here
A New York teenager was no stranger to showing up at school with his blue T-shirt displaying the National Rifle Association logo over two crossed rifles with the words “2nd Amendment shall not be infringed.”
But after a school teacher declared the shirt inappropriate, the student was punished for being insubordinate when he refused the turn the garment inside out.
4. A horse of a different color
A straight-A student attending high school in Texas was sent home from class because her hair was red, and not her natural color.
The principal didn’t have a strong distaste for redheads, but rather reports reveal her hair didn’t match the school’s dress code.
The girl, who tutored younger students while participating in several school clubs and sports, dyed her locks a less vibrant hue, but school officials didn’t relent on the suspension, telling her she may only wear her natural hair color.
5. Can you please pass the Beano?
School officials called in the cops to haul off a 13-year-old Albuquerque, N.M., pupil who allegedly interrupted gym class by letting out an audible burp.
Alarmingly, his parents weren’t initially notified.
The parents sued the school over the incident. In the lawsuit, the parents also claim their son was forced to strip down to his underwear when administrators became suspicious he was selling marijuana.
The young man was not charged with possession or a related crime.
6. Thinking twice about being a good Samaritan
So much for lending a helping hand.
A Virginia sixth-grader was hit with a 10-day suspension after she snatched and threw away a small razor blade being used by a fellow student to hurt himself.
Administrators even went so far as to recommend expulsion for the girl.
The district eventually caved and commuted the suspension partly because of the attention brought on by a media firestorm.
Contact Adam Tobias at email@example.com or follow him on Twitter @Scoop_Tobias